Wednesday 16 May 2012

End of season jokes

 X jeleşte de parcă Pippo a murit, nu a marcat. :D
Anyway, sunt nişte voci care susţin că nu e exclus să rămână la Milan. Ăsta ar fi un adevărat capolavoro al carierei lui, să simuleze plecarea.
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"Emile Heskey told he will never play football again."
Leicester Daily News - June 1996.
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What's Big, red and goes "beep, beep, beep"?
The Manchester United open top bus reversing back into the garage.
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I Can imagine this is a difficult time for all the United fans, so I hope you find yourself in good Kompany. Don't take it to Hart. Yaya gotta keep your head up, it wont be De Jong before you're smiling again - keep looking for the Silva lining. It may sound a bit of a Clichy but Manchester's number 1 club is now City!
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If Dalgish does get sacked...
Does that finally count as an assist by Downing?
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I've named my new baby Didier after Drogba..I'm not a Chelsea fan..
It's because he has trouble staying on his feet.
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Stoke midfielder Jermaine Pennant banned for drink driving. Obviously misunderstood Tony Pulis' request for the team to pick up more points on the road.
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My mate is starting a 5-a-side football tournament and he asked me how much did I reckon it would cost to buy a replica Premier League trophy to give to the winning team.
"I dont know", I said. "But I hear Manchester City have bought one recently for £490m but it took 4 years to get delivered."
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It was a good choice to hold the premier league celebration tour in Manchester.
They avoid all the Manchester United fans.
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Liverpool football club used to have the motto, "There's no substitute for talent".
Now it's, "There's no substitute with talent".
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In South America, your name on a gravestone with the words RIP is a sign of friendship.
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BREAKING NEWS: Alex McLeish is "considering his future" after failing his mission to relegate every Midlands football club within 5 years.
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Wigan fans are delighted after todays win. With their 11th of the season, the team can now dedicate one to each of their fans.
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What do Blackburn and the Titanic have in common? Nobody is expecting them to come back up any time soon.
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Geoff Shreeves will stop off at the Reebok Stadium on his way to the Stadium of Light.
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The story of Joleon Lescott's season:
2 goals 1 cup.
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Bag of Chips. £1.50.
One of the biggest football teams in Scotland. £1.00.
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Isn't it funny that Rangers' last 2 owners were Green & Whyte, they're last signing was Celik and their getting put out of business by the Queen.
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I just had my new Rangers 2012 diary delivered.
Must be a printing error, its only got January to June.
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After Blackburn Rovers got relegated, a former manager, who wishes to remain anonymous said "I was weally worried about welegation after dweadfull wun of wesults"
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Looks like Drogba's leaving Chelsea at the end of this season.
That'll be sad for the many fans who worship the ground he falls on.
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My girlfriend said she's leaving me for another guy because I'm too obsessed with football manager.
I said, "On loan or transfer?"
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What's the difference between Canada and Chelsea F.C ?
Canada has Niagara falls while chelsea have a nigger that falls.
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I opened the fridge door earlier and a bottle of Pepsi fell to the floor with a thud, and proceeded to roll right across the kitchen floor.
I thought it was strange, until I saw it had a photo of Didier Drogba on it.
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After what happened in todays Cup Final, video technology is being called for
To find the invisible man who hacks Drogba
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BREAKING: Pep Guardiola has told sources that he may be taking charge of Rangers next season, so he can spend some time away from football.
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With the Sun's 'Bwing on the Euwos' front page. I'm hoping to see the day Tim Howard becomes England manager.
Bring on the cum guzzler, nigger, cunt, slut, world cup.
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Some worry Harry Redknapp might be too old the next time the England job comes up, as by July he'll be sixty five and a half.
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Did you hear Andy Carrol is getting married? It's gonna be 'Mrs Carrol' instead of 'Carrol misses'
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Darren Bent will be fit in time for Euro
2012,
so he'll be watching it on the T.V. like
the rest of us.
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Legend:
Inzaghi se retrage de la Milan.
Manchester United rateaza titlul.
Manchester City ia titlul.
Stewart Downing, adus pe bani multi la Liverpool, a reusit fix 0 goluri si 0 pase de gol tot sezonul.
Drogba simuleaza des.
Manchester United este unul dintre cluburile al caror principal suport intern nu este local.
Manchester City este clubul cu mult suport local, dar si echipa spre care se indreapta acum fanii de plastic. (alte exemple - Chelsea, Barcelona, Real Madrid)
Tevez ridica un semn "RIP, FERGIE" la sarbatorirea titlului dupa ce Ferguson spusese despre City si titlu acum cativa ani ca "Not in my lifetime".
Suarez s-a scuzat ca l-a numit pe Evra "negrito" spunand ca in America de Sud expresia este una de prietenie.
Alex McLeish a anrenat in ultimii 5 ani Birmingham si Aston Villa, ratand retrogradarea la mustata cu ultimii dupa ce pe primii ii retrogradase in 2008.
Blackburn retrogradeaza, cu regretul multora dar fara perspective roz.
Geoff Shreeves i-a dat lui Ivanovic vestea ca nu  va juca finala Ligii.
Bolton Wonderers retrogradeaza.
Manchester United pierde titlul in deplasare, la Sunderland pe Stadium of Light.
Rangers e pe pas de desfiintare, avansandu-se ideea ca va fi vandut pe o lira.
Guardiola vrea sa plece din lumea fotbalului o vreme




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